yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
