We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
