oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
