im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize