you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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