He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
