Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
