i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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