ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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