So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
