Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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