Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
