we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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