New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
