so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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