Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
