I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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