The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
