I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
