If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
