talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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