Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
