just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
