dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
