We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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