Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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