I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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