his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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