If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
