To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
