I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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