Cold hands, warm shart.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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