so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
