Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
