Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
