...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
