Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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