my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
