Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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