K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
