What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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