is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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