college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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