I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
