Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think a kid would responsible me up
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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