So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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