My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
