Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize