I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
