My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
