so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Randomize