Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
