well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
