And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
