just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
