some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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