she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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