they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
