my being single is dangerous.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I could fuck to npr.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
