Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
