Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
