this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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