I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize