You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
