We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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