Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Found the puke drawer
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
