I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
