Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize