Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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