Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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