I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i've created a new STD.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
