i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
