what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
