she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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