some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
