We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
