my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
