where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm at about main and main street
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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