$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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